INCIDENT REPORT 0003: New Year Initiated! PROGRESS: 13 out of 100.

Bender-Bot, the Benders Club mascot—matte steel robot with terminal green eyes smoking a cigar at a bar under a Happy New Year sign, embodying Kevin Wikse’s “Industrial Strength Bastardry.”
Bender-Bot online—terminal green eyes, cigar lit, New Year engaged. Industrial Strength Bastardry, as documented by Kevin Wikse.

Happy New Year!

I hope you’re currently engaged in the process of bending and twisting 2025 into scrap, destined for the metal yard of eternity. No nostalgia required.

By every available metric, 2026 is shaping up to be rough and turbulent. Don’t delude yourself. Pretending otherwise has never been a winning strategy.

That said, I—and the other members of Bender’s Club—urge you to locate your lug nuts, feel the steel embedded in your backbone, and remember what you’re built to carry.

No matter what 2026 throws at you, with a swig of whiskey and a drag off a proper cigar, you will handle your business and come out the other side grinning.

As for me, I started the year correctly.
Felt good.
Systems responsive.

I pushed my personal best to 13 bends.

-Kevin Wikse, Industrial Strength Bastardry 

Location: Boise, ID, USA

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